Hang around singles long enough and the discussion of lack of qualified mates in the world is bound to come up. There is no way of avoiding it. It is a major topic of concern, particularly in the black community.
Women worry with the number of black men in jail or enrolled in the corrections system, there are not enough qualified men in the world. Men are concerned with the elevation of “reality stars”, women are just concerned with the money and status of a man. Both are having struggles finding their caliber of qualified mates.
I thought I might interject and get the juices flowing on where you can find a qualified mate. Everyone’s taste and standards are different, but if you are fishing in better ponds, then you are bound to catch better fish.
Volunteering is a great way to get outside of your outside of your home, circle and give back to the community. Lord knows there are millions of people out there that could use your time, energy and effort, so it is a great move. In addition, there are other wonderful people participating and volunteering as well.
I’m not telling you to attend these events solely looking for a mate, but if you are a giving person, then look around while you are there. The people at volunteer events get it. They want to serve the world and community in their way. They understand the great quote, “service is the rent we pay for the space we take up on earth.”
Isn’t this the type of person you want to end up with at the end of the day? Someone who is willing to give service to others.
Believe it or not, there are still book clubs in existence. I should know, I am a part of one and I love it, so I know people are still mentally engaging over books they have read.
People in book clubs are typically interest in continuing their learning, development and working on becoming a better person. More great traits you would love to see in your mate.
It is time for you to get out of your shallow fishing ponds of the local parties, night clubs and bars. Venture out into the wild of the city and cultural life. Learn about your area, heritage, or culture through museums, lectures, or dance. There is a spectactular world out there and some wonderful people looking to expand their horizons.
Don’t be the creepy guy or girl at the gym starring at the people you find attractive. That is a sure fire way to turn them completely off from ever wanting to meet you. However, do be friendly, but not aggressive.
People who frequent the gym enjoy their quite time working on their health, so the opportunities for long conversations are typically not there. However, there is time for engagement with a person who sees their health an important part of their day and future.
No matter your field, there are industry events from classes, lectures to networking events. Get out there and meet the people in your field. Strike up conversations and maybe much more.
If you have a MBA, then join the Black MBA association. If you are a lawyer, then join their association. Just about every field has theses associations to get to know one another, refer business and job opportunities. There is nothing against the rules that says you can’t meet great people and take the relationship further if you like.
A Friend’s Get Together
Maybe it doesn’t happen often, but it is possible. Since birds of a feather flock together, you might be in luck at a friend’s event and meet someone you have a lot in common with and are interested in pursuing a bit further.
One thing is for certain, if you continue to stay in the house or fishing in the same old ponds, then you won’t find someone new or right for you.
Keep in mind, just because you meet them in one of these environments doesn’t mean they are right for you. You must continue the qualifying process, but at least they are getting off to a right start by being in one of these environments. You have to do the work to find out if they are the one.