5 Reasons Black Women Should Avoid Plastic Surgery

The most beautiful women on the planet are black women. There is no doubt about it my mind. The problem is at times some of them don’t believe it. They have self doubt and they consider altering their image to fill the void.

The plastic surgery industry is booming in this country. However, up until less than a decade ago, it hadn’t really penetrated the black market. Today, it is a viable option to sisters around the world, but I think it is terrible mistake and wanted to take the time now to point out why black women should avoid plastic surgery.

Lil KimIt Is Expensive

Obviously, it depends on which surgery or surgeries you are getting done, but more than likely going under the knife is going to be expensive. According to reports, the average cost of plastic surgery $4,000 per treatment in the United States. The price could skyrocket from there.

Once You Start You Can’t Stop (Regular Maintenance)

The trick to plastic surgery is it is not a one time solution. The results do not last a life time. You must continue to go back for regular maintenance to keep the look in place. This means you have to spend more money in addition to your initial investment. The total cost can add up quickly.

Be Thankful for What the Lord Blessed You With

Aging isn’t something we like to think about or experience, but it is the natural progression of life. To try and fight this is futile, but also doesn’t show appreciate for the body,vessel you have been blessed with in this life. Maybe instead of trying to spruce up the exterior of your body, you should work on the interior of your mind to become at peace with the only body you will ever have.

Black Don’t Crack….If You Take Care Of Yourself

Our people come from great genes. You must understand this. If you are diligent to drink your water, exercise and eat right, then there will be no need for plastic surgery. Putting yourself through the pain, uncomfortable feelings and financial strain isn’t necessary when you take care of yourself.

Potentially Harmful (like those crazy butt injections)

Plastic surgery may make you “look” better for a while, but it is seriously dangerous. Things go wrong all the time. Take those crazy butt  injections for example. Women want to desperately have some booty, so they are injecting theemselves with cement an all sorts of other things to inflate their backsides. Some of these women are dying as a result.

Sure that is an extreme case and mostly the black market, but think about your girl, Lil Kim. She looks like a Muppet and she has much more money to get it done right than most of us. If money can’t guarantee a good look, then everyone is in potential danger that goes under the knife.

Read More: 8 Ways Black Women Allowed Courting And Chivalry To Die In The Black Community

Black Men Prefer Natural Women

Speaking a black men, don’t do it ladies. You were made to be naturally beautiful in all phases of your life and black men appreciate your natural beauty. I know you see these older men chasing younger women, but they are not the ones for you. Allow them to chase the illusion of their youth, but not you. You remain loyal to your true self and enjoy the journey of life.

We all want to mental and physical improvements in our lives, but I don’t think plastic surgery is the answer for black women. If you just take care of yourself, then you will look age appropriate and beautiful for the rest of your life, but that is my opinion, what’s yours?

Should black women avoid plastic surgery or go under the knife?

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7 Black Relationship Failures Are Keeping Strip Clubs Rich

It is no secret, black men in our community frequent the strip clubs. If you are not aware of this, then something is wrong with you or you just haven’t been paying much attention. Either way, this is a reality in our community and one I find interesting as I’m not the strip club type of guy.

We thought it would be interesting to explore the 7 black relationship issues that keep men in the strip club. Would love to hear your thoughts and opinion on the article after you read below.

strippersThe Woman Doesn’t Keep Herself In Shape

Relationships tend to start with both parties feeling some sort of sexual attraction to one another. Most people would agree with this. However, over time if one of the partners allow their physical appearance to fall away or their physical shape, weight in check, then it can cause problems. If it is the woman, then it could lead to the man visiting the male establishments.

Men are visual creatures that enjoy looking at their lady to drive sexual arousal. This is natural, but also why women who lose their physical sex appeal might have men who visit the strip clubs.

I’m not saying the lose of shape and figure isn’t always justified, ladies. Birthing children is no joke and I completely understand it changes the body. Unless you have a man who understands this, can appreciate the change because of the beauty of child birth, then it could lead to problems and trips to the club. This is just the fact.

Men Fail To Articulate Desires To Mate

If a man doesn’t have the chops or honesty to tell their mate some of their desires, then it could lead to them frequenting the strip clubs. They may want to see their woman dancing slightly dressed in order to fulfill their fantasy, but don’t have the courage to let the woman know about it.

This isn’t fair to the woman if she has a problem with her man going to these clubs. The man should be open and honest enough about their desires to let their woman know, but many aren’t.

Sexual Chemistry Dwindles

Unfortunately, couples sometimes drift apart in the sexual chemistry area. Over time, you may find you are not compatible or don’t work together for a variety of reasons. This could lead to the men stepping out to adult establishments to fill the void.

Men No Longer Feel Desired By Their Mate

Specifically, if the male in the relationship doesn’t feel like his woman desires him, then he could go to the adult establishments to fill that void. The ladies in the clubs do a great job of making a man feel like a man. This is very important to the psyche of men even if they are only doing it for the money.

Woman Isn’t Willing To Explore In The Bedroom

If the lady in the relationship is afraid to explore in the bedroom, then it could lead to a variety of problems. One of which is the male attending male establishments. The wants and desires of men change over time and if his mate is uninterested or willing to try them, then he will seek other avenues to fill the void. Before stepping out on the relationship, he might try the adult clubs.

Woman Stresses the Man Out

If the woman is constantly stressing her man out, he may turn to the adult clubs for relaxation, stress free environment, and the company of a woman that makes him feel good. Arguments and constant nagging can drain anyone, so if you see your man shutting down and not participating in the conversations any more, he might be thinking about where he is going to go to find a release.

Man Has an Addiction

Last but not least, the male in a relationship could just have an an addition. Some men just flat out enjoy looking at women in a sexual manner as objects of fulfillment. The strip clubs are places set up to do just this and men are able to feel comfortable gawking over the talent on stage.

Overall, there are many more reasons any man might go to the strip club, but we want to hear from you.

Why would men want to attend strip clubs?

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7 Reasons Black Men Are Afraid To Get Married, But Shouldn’t Be

Believe it or not, black men are afraid to get married. It doesn’t take a sociology major, news report, or study to see the apprehension black men have towards marriage. It just takes a few beers and a relationship with a hand full of them before they open up about their feelings.

Let me state for the record, I’m a happily married man of almost 13 years with my wonderful wife. I’m the first brother in my circle to get married while we were in college. I speak very highly of marriage, always have. It is something I have wanted my entire life. I was raised by my parents who got married in 1954 and are still married to this day. So, when I found my bride, I hung on to her.

black-bride-groomI have talked to PLENTY of black men about this subject and want to share my feedback with you on why they afraid to get married. At the end of the article, share your thoughts and what should be added to the list.

Lose Respect of Their Peers

About 50 years ago, marriage revered and the expected right of passage in the black community. However, things are much different today. Marriage in the black male community is not the thing to do.

Today, black men are afraid of marriage because they feel they will lose the respect or approval of their friends. It is negative peer pressure at work, but they shouldn’t feel this way. As you evolve in manhood, you find out if people don’t respect you for your choices, then maybe they shouldn’t be in your life in the first place.

Give Up Their Freedom

Black men feel like marriage means they will no longer be in control of their lives. They will have to submit to the whims of their tyrannical bride in order to keep their marriage a happy one. You know the saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

In order to avoid this loss of freedom, they avoid marriage all together. They rather not marry in order to be able to come and go as they please. Hang out at the clubs, engage in their hobbies, just live their life the way they desire without having to be responsible to another person, but this is just a lack of maturity and understanding of marriage because it doesn’t have to be like this.

The only way this reality is true is if you marry the wrong person. The person that wants or demands you to fit into their box instead of appreciating you for the person you are. Black men need to understand marriage isn’t a death sentence on their lives, but an opportunity to share it with a wonderful person if they think with the head above their shoulders, not below, and select the right mate for them.

Losing their Friends

I have listen to black men say they don’t want to give up their lives, friends, and social life in exchange their bride and family. You might think i’m kidding, but i’m serious. They act as if there is no way their new life of marriage can co-exist with their friends, but it can.

Now, if you and your friends were constantly up to no good, then you are right, this isn’t going to work. However, if you are mature enough to know somethings are going to change, but change is the natural progression of life, then everything will be fine. Your friends will eventually respect your situation, family and new bride. They will even respect you for your decision to marry and commitment to your family.

Don’t Want To Give Up The Player

This is real. Black men grow up being taught the player life of dealing with a bunch of women, never sharing your life with them or falling in love is how men SHOULD deal with women. This viewpoint retards black men when it comes to marriage and relationships because they don’t want to give up the player life.

Most men cannot fathom life with one woman or sex with one person for the rest of their life. They think it will get old and boring, but no one is telling them how wonderful it can be. Being able to be open, honest and your real self with one person is something special and both of you are willing to go to new heights with one another.

Belief In The Marriage Stereotypes

You must be aware black men believe all the stereotypes of marriage and want nothing to do with them. They are certain their wife is going to nag them to death about any and everything. The wife is going to transform into a sexless being that is all about money, the kids, and wine. She is going to be come a strict task master who only wants to see her Honey-Do list completed.

This belief is funny, but you can tell black men are only getting their information from non-married people or unhappily married men. These stereotypes are wrong and off base DEPENDING ON WHO YOU MARRIED. I think it is most important to select the right person to marry and if you do, then you will live a wonderful married life. If not, you could be come one of these bitter men walking around perpetuating these marriage stereotypes.

Classic Fear of Commitment

It is true, black men have the classic fear of commitment most people talk about when it comes to marriage. Being with one person is something that seems unnatural to most black men. They are afraid to be vulnerable and completely giving themselves up for another person in addition to all the horror stories they are told about marriage.

I think this fear is a natural feeling all people experience. However, in my marriage I have found it to be amazing. Yes, my wife and I have had our rough patches, but we have stuck it out and things are getting better and better. There is nothing like coming home to that one person that knows you best and she has a big smile on her face because has been wanting to see you all day.

The Nightmare Financial Investment

Black women tend to dream about the fairytale wedding, but black men think about the nightmare wedding expense. This is very true. Black men really don’t dream about the wedding day. It is just an expense to them. Besides, how many people do you know who have spent $20,000 to $50,000 on their wedding day and end up divorced?

Answer: TOO MANY! Black men think about this constantly and find it to be foolish, but will do it if their bride insist.

Personally, I think weddings are a waste of time, but if my wife wanted to have one, then we would have. Fortunately, she didn’t want a wedding either and things seem to be working out great for us. 13 years later, we are still happily married and looking forward to an empty nest so we can resume our courtship without the in home responsibilities of raising a child.

What you think about the list of reasons black men are afraid to get married? What would you add to the list?

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11 Being Mary Jane Relationship Lessons For Black Women

It’s true. I watch “Being Mary Jane”, the hit show on BET featuring Gabriel Union. I’m not ashamed to say it. The show is very entertaining, interesting, layered, and insightful…but are there any relationship lessons for black women in the show? Yes!

Mary Jane is involved in a relationship with a married man on the show. They dropped some statistics that caught me off guard. According to the show, 42% of married people have affairs with 20% of single women sleeping with married men. These stats shocked me a bit to be honest, but I guess infidelity and women getting involved in these relationships are real.

Here are the 11 lessons from Being Mary Jane for Black Women

being mary janeLove Isn’t Worth Your Morals

Although it can be magical, love isn’t worth the weight, sadness, and longevity of giving up your morals. You must not compromise the values of your upbringing just because something feels good. You have to be bigger than that or else it will eat you alive from the inside out.

When Mary Jane was discovered by her brother to be cheating with a married man, she really took it hard. It wasn’t until someone else saw and knew what she was doing did she realize how foul she really was. Not sure yet if it is enough to get her out of the relationship, but her values and moral compass was clearly rocked.

Love Can Be An Addiction

The scene where Mary Jane’s brother is walking her through the signs of addition was powerful because it is true. Love can be horrible for your future, sense of self and morals as discussed earlier.

You end up isolated, lonely, constantly thinking about this addiction It can negative impact your health, social life, work, relationships with family and friends sending you down a spiraling tract you don’t want to see what’s at the bottom. Do yourself a favor and snap out of it, SOON!

A Proposal Can Be A Carrot Just To Keep You On The Hook

My wife and I differ on the intent of the married man in this show, but we agree black women must realize it is possible this is just a ploy to keep you on the hook. Men in the black community seem adverse to marriage on whole, so many will use the ring, proposal and dream of marriage as a carrot to keep you around or on the hook.

Sounds devious, but it has happened before and will happen again. You can bet the farm on this one. The key is not to be this woman hanging around waiting for a married man who isn’t going to marry you, but just wants your goodies.

Don’t Allow Someone To Start With You If They Are Not Finished Someone Else

One key to avoiding the last point is to not allow someone to start with you if they are not finished with someone else. If they have their foot on both sides of the gate, you will not get the attention, love and respect you deserve in your relationships.

Sure, you can meet new people, but don’t allow the relationship to build. It can lead to stress and heart break. Let’s face it, these are two things you can use less of in your life.

And Don’t Start Something New If You Are Not Finished

Just like the last lesson, you should make sure don’t start a new relationship when you are not finished with your old one. Don’t cheat the person you meet with your baggage from your last relationship. Nip it in the bud and move on to the future. You will be don’t all parties involved a huge favor.

Last point on this, hanging on to your past can ruin your future. You will not give your all to the next person or even find the best person if you are clinging on to your past relationship. Don’t do it!

Continue Reading Lessons 6 to 11 Here:

11 Being Mary Jane Relationship Lessons For Black Women – Part 2

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11 Being Mary Jane Relationship Lessons For Black Women – Part 2

Hopefully you have had an opportunity to read part 1 of “11 Being Mary Jane Relationship Lessons For Black Women” because this is part two. Part one is linked below, so be sure to check it out, but let’s get into the rest of the article now.

If All Your “Dates” Are At Your House It Isn’t Real

Mary Jane got real when she was telling the married man this relationship wasn’t working for her. She talked about not being able to go to the gas station, can’t hang with family, corporate functions with him. She was very sad.

Being_Mary_Jane_630x420It is very true for you in your relationships as well. If the only place you are being seen with your new “man” is in your home, you are not in a real relationship. You need to to respect yourself enough to demand someone that will be with you all times and you are able to go out with in the city.

Read Part 1: 11 Being Mary Jane Relationship Lessons For Black Women

Can You Really Be In Love With Someone When You Have Only Seen Them In One Setting?

Don’t kid yourselves, ladies? You cannot fully love someone you only know inside your home. It just isn’t possible. Love is multi-layered and more complex than this. You have no idea how this person interacts with his friend, family. You don’t know how they live, perform at work. In short, you don’t know anything about them outside of what they want you to know and see inside the comfort of your own home. This isn’t love or a relationship. You are being used.

He Will Have His Cake And Eat It Too As Long As You Let Him

As long as you allow him to continue using you, then he will. He will not end it for fear that you might go psycho and blow up his real relationship. Therefore, he will drag on the relationship having his cake and eating it as well as long as you allow him. If you don’t grow a backbone and demand more from your relationship, then you will continue to be used until you are all used up.

If You The Side Piece, Stay In Your Lane

This is definitely not a position we are advocating, but some of you are happy with being the side piece. If this is your role and you are ok with it, then stay in your lane and receive your “benefits”. One of Mary Jane’s girlfriends said during their “girl’s night”, she loves being the side piece because of all the benefits, gifts, trips and her personal time she gets. This may be your thing. If so, then stay in your lane.

Do not approach the wife with your mess and give her any additional stress or confrontation. That is foul. And if you are going to blow up the spot, then do it in a subtle manner. Remember, the wife doesn’t know you exist. She is being lied to as well and should be respected.

Be Careful And Don’t Move Too Fast

Getting back to reasonable lessons from “Being Mary Jane”, slow down. You don’t have to rush into any relationship. If things are beginning to move too quickly, then take a step back to make sure you are dealing with a person of integrity or it could bite you in the backside.

Think about the show. Mary Jane gave the gate code to her house to a man and didn’t even know he was married. I’m not sure how in the world this happens unless she is rushing into something too quickly or is thirsty for a man. This can get you into trouble and it might not just be relationship trouble. Be careful, ladies.

Bottom Line: You Deserve More Than Stolen Moments

You should be more important to yourself than to accept a few stolen moments from a mate. Make no mistake, if you are dealing with a married man, your time with them are merely stolen moments because they should be somewhere else. 99/100 times, he isn’t telling his wife the truth and lying to spend time with you. These are stolen moments.

You deserve more!

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8 Ways Black Women Allowed Courting And Chivalry To Die In The Black Community

Before we get into the list, let me be clear. I am in no way saying the death of courting and chivalry in the black community is solely the fault of black women. As discussed in the last article on this subject, black men hold their fair share of culpability in this matter. There is no doubt about it, but black women have theirs as well.  Just highlighting how black women have contributed to what I see as a problem.

Let’s take a moment to review the reasons black women have contributed to the death of courting and chivalry in the black community.

Basketball Wives LA 2011No Longer Require Courting And Chivalry

Flat out, it is no longer a required element to date most black women. Our women have fallen into a pattern of accepting whatever behavior the men/boys in the black community throw at them. Our women don’t stop them and say, “You don’t treat me like that. I am a lady and will be respected at all times.”

I am reminded of the character in “Act Like A Lady, But Think Like A Man” movie where she wouldn’t get into the car until the gentlemen opened the door for her. Scenes of doors being opened or this accompanying gentlemen like behavior don’t happen in our community any longer. This is mostly because it is no longer required.

Put Lust Before Love

Our black women these days are too quick to jump in the bed and have sex with any swinging Willie that comes along. Obviously not all, but a significant number have moved into this stage of living. They are putting the physical above and before the mental, then wondering why they cannot find a man that wants them for more than their body.

Objectifying Yourselves

If you are willing to spread provacative pictures of yourself sitting on sinks, spreading wide, propping up your breast or dropping it low, then you are helping to destroy courting and chivalry in the black community. Period. There is no way any respectable man wants to see his lady objectified in this manner. And if this is how you lead, with your ASSets, then you will not get the respect or positive attention you deserve.

It’s not just the ladies! Read 7 Reasons Black Men Should Return to the Old School Values of Courting and Chivalry.

Substituting Money For Respect

I’m not going to call it prostitution, but many of our black women are willing to accept rude, promiscuous, an negative behaviors in exchange for money and material items. This is a reflection of our overall embracing of materialism as a society and community, but it seems to be a contributor to the demise of courting and chivalry in the black community. It is time for us to let this behavior go, have more respect for ourselves, and demand more from the men seeking a relationship or encounter from our black women.

Modeling The Wrong Role Models

Flat out, this era of television, social media and reality television is killing us. Our women seem to be latching on to the wrong women when it comes to role models. The women of Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop and other shows carry more weight and influence in the community rather than Michelle Obama, Cynthia McKinney, or even Melody Hobson. We need a change more respectable role models in our community.

Accepting Hip Hop’s View Of Women As Bitches And Hoes

This is probably one of the most egregious errors of black women in our community. They seem to embrace the foul language, B-Word slagging hip hop entertainers and music. If they are not appalled by the artist calling them out their name, then they are more likely to accept it from the men/boys they encounter on a day to day basis. Why would a man be chivalrous when you will answer to the B-word or call yourself that?

Continue To Date Men That Sag and Have “Swag” Over Gentlemen

Ladies, BOYS have swag and sag their pants. These are not the activities or vernacular of gentlemen. You get what you deserve when you accept this mess. One’s standards must be low or their are in a minor mental state if you are going to walk around showing your underwear, so you can’t complain when they treat you inappropriately. Raise your expectations.

Black Women Lowered Their Standards

Bottom line, the standards of black women have dropped. They are willing to accept any and everything a man will throw at them if it comes with some trinkets, money or attention. It is really sad to see. Hopefully, the time will come soon when these standards will be raised.

What would you add or take away from these observations?

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6 Ways Facebook And Social Media Can Ruin Your Relationship

Social media, especially Facebook, is fun. Let’s face it. We all love it. This is why these budding media outlets are growing at exponential rates. They are wonderful. However, danger lurks when it comes to your relationships, so beware.

Today, we want to discuss these dangers to your relationships of Facebook and social media. The aim here is to ensure you are not making these mistakes leaving your relationships open and vulnerable. You must realize that you have good intentions when sharing information and interacting on social media, but not everyone shares your perspective. Some people are out there to cause your relationships harm.

Black-Couple-Arguing-pointing6 Ways Facebook And Social Media Can Ruin Your Relationship

Let’s get down to business and cover these hidden relationship dangers. Here are my reasons I think you have to be careful navigating the social media waters so your relationship doesn’t drown.

Sharing Every Detail Of Your Relationship

Relationships need privacy and special moments that only exist between two people. This is something difficult to maintain during the world of social media. We are trained to share any and everything happening during our day and this is what people are doing. This is very detrimental to the health of romantic relationships because there are no more private moments between the couple. Everyone is invited into the relationship and they all don’t have good intentions.

Posting Too Many Selfies

I hate to see so many people, mainly women, posting selfies of themselves. You clearly don’t understand that men don’t want people gawking over their woman. When you share these images it may be with the best intentions, but there are people drooling over them. This isn’t what your partner want to see or think about. They would much rather you share those images with them, particularly if they are provocative.

Too Many People In Your Business

Flat out, no one likes people in their business. Keeping your business and relationship in the world of social media is an open invitation to bring other people into your business. They know what you are doing. Where you have been. What are you are eating, like, dislike and who you are hanging with. It is dangerous for your relationship.

Temptation Lurks

Hanging out on social media and sites like Facebook opens the door to conversations with other people you may find attractive physically or mentally. And if you are not secure in your relationship, you may crack that door and eventually give in to temptation. And don’t even bring up the Ex who friends you and stalks all of your statuses. This is another means of communication where they can hang on to the hope of getting you back.

Jealousy Because Of Comments And Likes

Jealousy is dangerous in any relationship and you never know what is going to trigger it. Being active on social media makes it possible for former Exes or people that like you to comment, like and interact on your status updates. If the same person is doing this over and over again, your partner may not appreciate this. You have to consider the feelings of your mate in this situation and ask the offending person to fall back or exist your relationship because you are headed for trouble.

Do You Share Access To Your Accounts?

This is a dangerous relationship question because some people feel access to their accounts are off limits to their mates. Other people feel like having open social media accounts and emails are a must in a relationship because it confirms trust and accountability to the relationship. It is a double edge sword because it can be trouble either way, but it is a conversation that every relationship should have at some point to ensure you are on the same page.

Social media and Facebook can be a great way to meet your potential mates, but it can create problems when you are in the relationship if you are not careful.

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7 Reasons The Black Men Should Return To The Old School Values of Courting And Chivalry

There are some vicious rumors circling the black community and black men when it comes to dating and relationships. I’m sure you have heard them all. They say black men are barbaric, lack class, culture, compassion and a sense of tenderness when it comes to relationships. They say black men don’t want to do anything but hit it and quit it.

These stereotypes and perceptions are destroying our culture because many black men are making them out to be true. I’m not saying this applies to all black men, but there is enough for many to think where there is smoke, there is fire. Honestly, I can’t blame them.

7 Reasons The Black Men Should Return To The Old School Values of Courting And Chivalry

black-online-dating-2Today, I want to share with you a few reasons I think the black men in the community should turn to the old school values of courting and chivalry when approaching our young ladies. You know what I’m talking about. Showing tenderness towards the woman you are wooing. Opening car doors. Holding hands while waking down the street. Cooking for the young lady who is the apple of your eye. Buying small gifts and trinkets because you know it will brighten her day. Respectably meeting the parents of the lady and letting them know your intentions with their daughter.

Prove Courting And Chivalry Is Not Dead In the Black Community

If nothing else, just prove these things still exist in the black community. Show the world black men are not animals, but dynamic individuals that express themselves in a variety of ways. We are not all hip hop, N-Word slanging thugs with our pants sagging around our knees trying to hit any and everything that comes our way. We are dynamic men who know the value of a good woman and show it.

Sets You Apart From The Crowd

Here is an opportunity to show you are different. Really separate yourself from the crowd. While all your peers are making it rain, treating women like trash and womanizing, you can differentiate yourself from them completely. The women you are courting and being chivalrous toward will be blown away. A great reputation will form around you all because you act like you got some sense, know how to treat a woman, and carry yourself as a gentleman.

Better Quality of Ladies (Ratchet-Free, Wife Material)

With your chivalrous ways and good intentions of courting the woman of your dreams, you will find a better quality of women in your life. The adjustment in attitude and carrying yourself as a gentleman will put you places to meet ratchet-free ladies with higher standards. Women that many would call wife material. These are the women you want in your life. Women that will help you grow, stretch and challenge you to be a better person. Not the women who just want to take, take, take from you as much as they can get, then discard you when finished.

Raise the Expectations Of Our Ladies & Up The Game For Other Men

Bringing back the old school ways of courting and chilvary will raise the expectation of women you encounter. Many will have not seen a man act and perform gentleman like gestures to a woman. They will love it. Tell their friends and even the friends will begin to expect more from the men they date. Men throughout the black community will be forced to up their game and their understanding of what it means to be a gentleman or continue to date from the bottom of the barrel.

Deeper Connections and Longer Lasting Relationships

Everyone wants to make deep connections with the mate. Men are no different. By being courteous, chivalrous and court the lady of your dreams, you will build just that. Conversations will be much better and interesting as barriers are lowered, trust is developed. These relationships will last longer and carry more meaning for both people involved.

Disprove the Myth That Black Men Don’t Want To Get Married and Black Marriages Are Dead

There is a nasty myth circling the black community that says black men don’t want to get married and marriages in the community are dead. I don’t believe this for I know a plethora of black men and they are interested in getting married if they are able to find the right woman. Well, if we, as black men, begin to act like men and treat our Queens like ladies, then I think it will open the path for marriage to begin to catch root in the community again.

Setting Positive Examples For Next Generation

Finally and probably the best reason to make a return to old school values of courting and chivalry, to set the model for the next generation. There is no doubt that children are always watching adults for their ques on how they should act. If they grow up around men acting in the manner of gentlemen and treating women with respect, courtesy, and chivalry, then they will do the same. Not only that, the young ladies will expect the same.

Our community are in need of a lot of things. Men returning to our essence of being gentlemen and treating our women with love, honor and respect is a great start.

It is my hope we are able to pull ourselves out of this mess we have found ourselves. There is no doubt we need to do a better job parenting across the board and raising our men and women to be more respectful, even expect more respect from their peers and suitors. The television media isn’t doing their part either with these negative images of black men and women through their series, reality shows, and movies, but we cannot allow that to be the crutch that allows this mess to continue.

It is time we stand up as a people and demand more from all of us. We can and must do better.

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9 Reasons Working Out Together Is Great For Couples

My wife and I don’t work out together all the time, but when we do, it is really great. She is an amazing woman that I respect, but us working out together has contributed to my feelings.

I feel like every couple should workout together because there are some great benefits. Below are a 9 reasons couples should workout together. Let’s see how many of them you agree with today.

Blow Off Some Stress

black couple working outLife can be stressful by itself, but relationships can really pile on the pressure. Working out really gets the blood pumping and is a great way to relieve some of this stress. We all know every relationship can use less stress. Working out together can definitely help.

Strengthen The Couples Bond

Working out together is wonderful for couples because the bond gets stronger. You are relying on each other for spots during certain routines. You are encouraging each other to keep on pressing forward. This can lead to more trust in the relationship between couples. Trust builds the bond. And relationships with stronger bonds tend to last longer than those without.

Mutual Motivation Leads To Better Workouts

Having a workout partner is great because they are able to push and motivate you to higher heights. This is great for anyone in the gym, but it is outstanding when it is your partner. You two are able to encourage one another to keep pushing forward and reaching for your goals. Great for relationships!

Sweat is Sexy

Let’s be honest, there is nothing like seeing your partner sweat. Working out hard definitely leads to a lot of sweat and it can really get the blood pumping. I will leave it there, but you get the idea. This is great for all couples and something you must experience.

Improved Physical Appearance & Attraction

If you workout with your mate, you get a first row seat at the workouts that are going to lead to their improved physical appearance. The facts are clear. Working out makes you look and feel better. This increases your attraction level for your mate and vise versa as well.

And this isn’t just about the physical because the hard work and dedication involved in following a workout routine can lead you to being more attracted to your mates resolve. Dedication is a powerful attraction tool.

Seeing Each Other Work Hard Builds Respect

What relationship can’t use more mutual respect? Not many, right?

Working out together builds respect because the two of you are pushing each other to your limits, encouraging one another to reach for more, and who can’t respect anyone for pushing outside of their comfort zone? These are strong moments in your relationship and will ensure things only get better moving forward.

Better Overall Health

Every person can use better health. Working out is great for better overall health. This will allow you and your mate to feel better, hopefully live longer and thus have a better life together. No one wants a mate that just wants to sit on the sofa together all day and night because they don’t have the energy to do more. Working out provides the energy, zest and health of a great life together.

Quality Time

Couples are always looking for better ways to spend quality time together or date. The gym and working out are wonderful ways to do just that. You are together talking, chatting about the current events, the work out, things on your mind. It is great and a wonderful way to spend time together. Give it a shot!

Improved Sex Life

You knew this was going to be on the list, didn’t you? You should because it is true. There is something about working out together that gets the blood boiling, the sweat is flying, the conversation is flowing, and everything just escalates from there. The better shape you two are in, the more interesting and exciting things can get in that special place.

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