“Love yourself, girl, or nobody will. Though you’re a woman, I don’t know how you deal. With all the pressure to look impressive and go out in heels; I feel for you. Killing yourself to find a man that’ll kill for you”
– J. Cole, “Crooked Smile”
The users of this social media world we seemingly live in are always talking about something. This weekend is no different! The internet is ablaze about rapper T.I.’s wife questionable eye color change. Supposedly, she went in with the intent to change the hue of her eyes from a dark brown to a sharp gray color. It’s always disheartening to see a celebrity picked apart for a life decision that isn’t overtly negative but Tiny’s decision to undergo this surgery warrants a deeper discussion.
Tiny is a known figure in the black community due to her marriage to one of the most popular hip-hop artists in recent memory. Let’s not forget to mention that she’s a former member of the R&B group Xscape, successful entrepreneur and reality T.V. star. Every Monday her life is put on display to millions of people around the nation. With that much public visibility comes tremendous influence that many celebrities and T.V. personalities don’t realize that they have.
When you’re a celebrity, your every move is put under a microscope. Young women around the nation look up to these T.V. stars almost like role models, associating with their struggles and triumphs. They then start to dress like their favorite larger than life personalities, even subliminally taking on their mannerisms and attitude ques. With great power comes great responsibility and many of these females acting out on these T.V. shows don’t understand the social ramifications of their actions. I’m making it a big deal because it is a big deal. I’m not pulling things out the sky. I’m in high school and I see these females living out their Joseline Hernandez fantasies!
Not to say that Tiny is as deplorable as the cast of the collective Love & Hip Hop franchise but her realm of influence is wide, maybe even more so than other black women on reality T.V. to date. Advocating young women to get surgery on their eyes just to change their eye color isn’t cool at all! And yes, she did advocate unnecessary eye surgery to her estimated two million social media followers. So a woman that’s on our television sets every Monday and has a social media reach that extensive isn’t influential?
This article isn’t about Tiny though, although she sparked the conversation. It’s about the young women that feel inadequate with who they are. Maybe they believe that that, based on the beauty standard of Hollywood, that they’re too big or small, too light or dark, too boisterous or monotone. Appealing to the public runs our mindset but young women are especially forced and coerced to live up to these vain standards.
You never will be fully satisfied if you choose to neglect who you authentically are. Yeah, you may get the adulation of the people around you but how can you look at yourself in the mirror? How can you walk through life knowing that you’re wearing an uncomfortable mask that hides your inner beauty?
There isn’t a need to change anything that isn’t an immediate threat to your health. To exist in a stone cold prison like a public high school, or the world in general, you must walk with your head upright. Your self-esteem should be so high and your self-image should be so positive that you should almost be arrogant! People that you don’t even know will try to block your destiny and break you down but it’s up to you to brush off their negativity and keep it moving.
I’m a young man that values a young woman that knows who she is. Unfortunately, I don’t come in contact with many young women like that because they’re seemingly lost in the crowd of thots, groupies, manipulators and vanity slaves that plague the world. And the few ones I do see are in productive relationships with good brothers that know how to value them. It’s a catch 22 but I know how the game is played.
The thugs, players and heartbreakers get their pick of the litter of the supposed “top-tier” females (usually based on looks only). Even the BMS (Business Minded Sisters) fall susceptible to their whims. Meanwhile the BMBs of the world are looked down on for being too focused on their goals and “boring”. But, in ten years or less, these same females that looked down at us BMBs will be choosing up when the guys they wanted back in the day bounce on them and we got wealth, power and influence.
Same ol’ story, just a different generation. When will we ever learn?
Long story short, don’t change yourself to garner our attention. Worry about yourself and what makes you happy. Most guys don’t even understand how you get down anyway! Don’t lose yourself. Be comfortable in the skin you in and you’ll will receive dividends that are substantial.
In relation to Tiny, we can’t shame her for what she does. It’s her life and it doesn’t concern us! She should be cognizant of what she does due to her status though. Not only are her millions of fans watching her moves but her children as well. I’ll leave it at that………
#MissingTeenAlert: All my folks in Georgia be on the lookout. Fifteen year old Destiny Taylor has gone missing. Spread the word and bring this young lady back to her parents!
We came, we saw, we conquered! My debut publishing effort “Riverview High: Circumstances” reached #2 on the Amazon charts! Check it out on Amazon today. Don’t forget to leave a review!
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