The subject of color complexes in the black community is nothing new, but makes for an interesting discussion when it comes to dating. We know many of our people, especially black men, struggle with the disease known as color complex, but I promise I have a solid point to make at the end of the article, so please stay with me.
As a black male, I can tell you with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY many of these color complex stereotypes exist in the black community. They are relics of the mental and physical retardation effects of slavery and perpetuated in the music, culture and stories told by black men over the generations. They are frustrating, degrading, and most of the time down right off basis, but they continue to live and breathe in our community for the consumption of the next generation.
Light Skinned Women Are More Attractive
Unfortunately, this is a color complex taught to men at an early age. Maybe it has something to do with the “Baby Doll Test” that has black children selecting the white baby doll over the black one. They attribute beauty and good behaviors to the white baby doll and ugly, bad behaviors to the black doll.
The media is saturating our minds with white images and we are associating beauty with them. The residual effect on dating is men attribute “light skinned” women with being closer to white, therefore, they are beautiful.
Nevertheless, if you listen to hip hop music or sit around in a barber shop, you will find men the country over talking about how light skinned women are just more attractive.
Brown Skinned Women Are Down To Earth And Natural
The brown skinned woman can’t escape the stereotyping of black men in the dating area, but mostly in a positive manner. Brown skinned sisters are thought to be more down to earth, “real” than the other shades of black women. They are said to be easier to talk to, have better personalities, and a more endearing disposition.
Dark Skinned Women Are Demanding & Difficult To Engage In A Relationship
Dark skinned women seem to have it the roughest in black men circles. They are not seen as the best looking as you will commonly hear someone say, “she is pretty for a dark skinned woman,” but they are also thought to be the most demanding in relationships.
The thought is they want everything done there way or the highway without any deviation from this position. They constantly nag their man to death about the most trivial things and communication with them is always dreadful. Most men want to avoid them at all cost.
Asian Women Make You Feel Like A Man
Extending the conversation a little bit, let’s throw Asian women into the discussion. Black men feel Asian women really know how to cater to their man. They take care of you like a King putting their needs before hers. You know, how most men feel a relationship should go….all about them. The stereotype of Asian women is they elevate their man and make them feel whole again.
White Women Listen And Allow You To Take The Lead In the Relationship
You will hear black man saying you should date a white woman. Not because they are more attractive, are rich or anything like this, but because they will take a back seat to you. They listen to their black men and follow their lead. These are endearing traits many black men desire in a mate, but claim black women cannot fulfill….all the time.
What Would You Add To This List?
I’m sure these are not all the color complexes of the black men in the community. Take a moment after the article and throw a couple of thoughts on the fire.
While you are considering the question, allow me to wrap up with my observation. These color complexes are silly. If any man really believes any of these are true, then ladies you should have your head examined for dating or even considering dating this man because he is just being ridiculous.
Our behaviors, actions, beliefs and morals don’t come from the color of our skin. They come from our parents, family, community and village we grow up in. They come from the books we read, the educational lessons, and the religion we embrace, not the color of our skin.
Black men, please stop perpetuating these ridiculous stereotypes about our black women and only believe the positive ones about other races. Black women are much more valuable than the opinions of a few misogynistic, bitter and ill-informed myths floating around our communities. If you can’t understand or accept this, then you are fulfilling the negative stereotype, not our beautiful black women of all shades.