5 Things Women Should Never Do In Relationships

Relationships are a two way street, and require 100% (not 50%) from both parties. While there are things men can do to keep a successful relationship going, there are things women can do as well to contribute to a healthy relationship. There are also things that women shouldn’t do in their relationships if they want to keep things running smoothly.

Tell everyone your relationship business

When you’re in a relationship, you’re excited, and you want everyone to know about it. In the same breath, when you’re upset, sometimes you want to tell the world about that too. Don’t! People who tell all their family and friends every single detail of their relationship are allowing too many cooks in the kitchen. This is where opinions start forming and are delivered to you without even asking. At the same time, we live in the age where people post their entire lives on social networks. Do not broadcast your business on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, or any other network. Your relationship is between you and your boyfriend / fiancé / husband. Keep it that way!

Go through your man’s phonePhone Passcode

This has become a trend over the years, for people to go through their partner’s phone. There’s a saying “when you go looking for something, expect to find something.” Going through your man’s phone doesn’t solve anything. Going through pictures and text messages to find out if your man is cheating is just going to get the two of you in an argument. He’ll defend himself, saying you’re invading his privacy. You’ll continue to argue for what you did or didn’t find. The bottom line is trust: if you can’t trust the person you’re with, why are you with them in the first place?

Withhold sex as a punishment

This is a mistake a lot of women make: using sex as a weapon, but not in a good way. Withholding sex from your partner as a punishment is a sure shot way to cause a rift in your relationship. Men are physical, sexual beings. It’s part of their biology. While women do hold the power, trying to manipulate your man by not giving him any spells danger. It can lead to resentment, arguments, and some would see it as an excuse for cheating (which it’s not, but that may not stop him). If you have a point you want to get across, talk about it, but don’t make your sex life suffer because of it.

Demand all of his time

We as women love to spend time with our men. However, when you’re joined at the hip, it can cause more harm than good. Be sure to give your significant other space to breathe from time to time. You don’t need to talk all day, then spend all night together, every single day. Give him time to be by himself or hang out with his boys, or even to spend time with his family. This gives him the freedom to do things he wants to do, and also gives him a chance to miss you.

Belittle and embarrass him (in private or in public)

Men are used to being the head of their relationships. So one of the worst things you can do is belittle, embarrass, or emasculate your man. This is especially crucial in a public settings, like when you’re around friends and even strangers. However, this holds true at home as well. When you’re talking to or about your man, hold him in high esteem. Don’t list all of his flaws or talk down to him. Don’t recite the laundry list of things he isn’t doing right or air his dirty laundry. Build him up, encourage him, and even take some time to brag about him from time to time. When a man sees a woman appreciates him, flaws and all, his heart opens up even more to her.

Do you think some of these are wrong? Do you have anything to add?

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7 Reasons The Black Men Should Return To The Old School Values of Courting And Chivalry

There are some vicious rumors circling the black community and black men when it comes to dating and relationships. I’m sure you have heard them all. They say black men are barbaric, lack class, culture, compassion and a sense of tenderness when it comes to relationships. They say black men don’t want to do anything but hit it and quit it.

These stereotypes and perceptions are destroying our culture because many black men are making them out to be true. I’m not saying this applies to all black men, but there is enough for many to think where there is smoke, there is fire. Honestly, I can’t blame them.

7 Reasons The Black Men Should Return To The Old School Values of Courting And Chivalry

black-online-dating-2Today, I want to share with you a few reasons I think the black men in the community should turn to the old school values of courting and chivalry when approaching our young ladies. You know what I’m talking about. Showing tenderness towards the woman you are wooing. Opening car doors. Holding hands while waking down the street. Cooking for the young lady who is the apple of your eye. Buying small gifts and trinkets because you know it will brighten her day. Respectably meeting the parents of the lady and letting them know your intentions with their daughter.

Prove Courting And Chivalry Is Not Dead In the Black Community

If nothing else, just prove these things still exist in the black community. Show the world black men are not animals, but dynamic individuals that express themselves in a variety of ways. We are not all hip hop, N-Word slanging thugs with our pants sagging around our knees trying to hit any and everything that comes our way. We are dynamic men who know the value of a good woman and show it.

Sets You Apart From The Crowd

Here is an opportunity to show you are different. Really separate yourself from the crowd. While all your peers are making it rain, treating women like trash and womanizing, you can differentiate yourself from them completely. The women you are courting and being chivalrous toward will be blown away. A great reputation will form around you all because you act like you got some sense, know how to treat a woman, and carry yourself as a gentleman.

Better Quality of Ladies (Ratchet-Free, Wife Material)

With your chivalrous ways and good intentions of courting the woman of your dreams, you will find a better quality of women in your life. The adjustment in attitude and carrying yourself as a gentleman will put you places to meet ratchet-free ladies with higher standards. Women that many would call wife material. These are the women you want in your life. Women that will help you grow, stretch and challenge you to be a better person. Not the women who just want to take, take, take from you as much as they can get, then discard you when finished.

Raise the Expectations Of Our Ladies & Up The Game For Other Men

Bringing back the old school ways of courting and chilvary will raise the expectation of women you encounter. Many will have not seen a man act and perform gentleman like gestures to a woman. They will love it. Tell their friends and even the friends will begin to expect more from the men they date. Men throughout the black community will be forced to up their game and their understanding of what it means to be a gentleman or continue to date from the bottom of the barrel.

Deeper Connections and Longer Lasting Relationships

Everyone wants to make deep connections with the mate. Men are no different. By being courteous, chivalrous and court the lady of your dreams, you will build just that. Conversations will be much better and interesting as barriers are lowered, trust is developed. These relationships will last longer and carry more meaning for both people involved.

Disprove the Myth That Black Men Don’t Want To Get Married and Black Marriages Are Dead

There is a nasty myth circling the black community that says black men don’t want to get married and marriages in the community are dead. I don’t believe this for I know a plethora of black men and they are interested in getting married if they are able to find the right woman. Well, if we, as black men, begin to act like men and treat our Queens like ladies, then I think it will open the path for marriage to begin to catch root in the community again.

Setting Positive Examples For Next Generation

Finally and probably the best reason to make a return to old school values of courting and chivalry, to set the model for the next generation. There is no doubt that children are always watching adults for their ques on how they should act. If they grow up around men acting in the manner of gentlemen and treating women with respect, courtesy, and chivalry, then they will do the same. Not only that, the young ladies will expect the same.

Our community are in need of a lot of things. Men returning to our essence of being gentlemen and treating our women with love, honor and respect is a great start.

It is my hope we are able to pull ourselves out of this mess we have found ourselves. There is no doubt we need to do a better job parenting across the board and raising our men and women to be more respectful, even expect more respect from their peers and suitors. The television media isn’t doing their part either with these negative images of black men and women through their series, reality shows, and movies, but we cannot allow that to be the crutch that allows this mess to continue.

It is time we stand up as a people and demand more from all of us. We can and must do better.

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Infidelity: Why People Cheat and Should You Stay

Infidelity is the elephant in the room when it comes to relationships. Everyone defines cheating differently. Some may think it’s not cheating if you’re not married to someone (or you’re single until you’re not). Others believe online flirting would constitute as being unfaithful, while others straddle the fence on whether affairs of the heart weigh the same as physical intimacy outside of your relationship. Whatever the case may be, infidelity is an issue that tears relationships apart.

So why does it happen? Why do people commit to someone else, with the understanding that they will be seeing each other exclusively, or even married couples who take vows in front of family and friends, then cheat on their significant other, causing humiliation, resentment, anger and depression? One “reason” cited is an emotional disconnection to your partner. Romantic feelings quickly turn into indifference or resentment when the honeymoon period is over. People blame peer pressure, especially if they are the lone person in a relationship, surrounded by many single friends. It could be an intimacy issue where there’s a level of sexual unsatisfaction, or even the sex part of the relationship becomes extinct or very rare.Couple Not Talking

My personal opinion: There’s no good reason to cheat. Being unfaithful is a selfish and hurtful thing to do to your significant other. It can cause emotional damage, regardless of if you let your partner know after the fact, or if they have to find out about it. Often, the person who was cheated on internalizes the issue, blaming his or herself even if it had nothing particularly to do with them. The cheater is often going through something, and instead of talking it out with their partner, takes the “easy” way out. Communication is key in a relationship, and I believe the unsatisfied party should talk their problems out with their significant other, and let them know how they’re feeling. Sneaking around and having an affair solves nothing, but instead, causes more problems.

So let’s say Steve cheated, and Robin finds out (either or on her own or Steve confessed). Should Robin stay or should she leave? There’s no right or wrong answer. There’s a lot of factors that come into play, and it’s really on a case by case basis. There are some people who vow they would never stay with a cheater. Good for them. There are other couples who feel that the relationship is salvageable. Kudos to them as well. There can be a laundry list of reasons to stay, and a list just as long to leave. It’s up to you and your boundaries. The one thing I do ask you to remember: you have to live with your decision. Don’t make it to please other people because they go back to their lives while you continue to live with your choice.

It’s such a tough subject, and nothing fun to experience. If you believe your relationship can be repaired, counseling is a great way to work through the issues that led to the infidelity, combat other issues that may be brewing, and receive support to heal your wounds from the trauma (because this can be a very traumatic experience, for both people). However, it is much easier to prevent an issue like cheating rather than rebuilding after the fact.

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9 Reasons Working Out Together Is Great For Couples

My wife and I don’t work out together all the time, but when we do, it is really great. She is an amazing woman that I respect, but us working out together has contributed to my feelings.

I feel like every couple should workout together because there are some great benefits. Below are a 9 reasons couples should workout together. Let’s see how many of them you agree with today.

Blow Off Some Stress

black couple working outLife can be stressful by itself, but relationships can really pile on the pressure. Working out really gets the blood pumping and is a great way to relieve some of this stress. We all know every relationship can use less stress. Working out together can definitely help.

Strengthen The Couples Bond

Working out together is wonderful for couples because the bond gets stronger. You are relying on each other for spots during certain routines. You are encouraging each other to keep on pressing forward. This can lead to more trust in the relationship between couples. Trust builds the bond. And relationships with stronger bonds tend to last longer than those without.

Mutual Motivation Leads To Better Workouts

Having a workout partner is great because they are able to push and motivate you to higher heights. This is great for anyone in the gym, but it is outstanding when it is your partner. You two are able to encourage one another to keep pushing forward and reaching for your goals. Great for relationships!

Sweat is Sexy

Let’s be honest, there is nothing like seeing your partner sweat. Working out hard definitely leads to a lot of sweat and it can really get the blood pumping. I will leave it there, but you get the idea. This is great for all couples and something you must experience.

Improved Physical Appearance & Attraction

If you workout with your mate, you get a first row seat at the workouts that are going to lead to their improved physical appearance. The facts are clear. Working out makes you look and feel better. This increases your attraction level for your mate and vise versa as well.

And this isn’t just about the physical because the hard work and dedication involved in following a workout routine can lead you to being more attracted to your mates resolve. Dedication is a powerful attraction tool.

Seeing Each Other Work Hard Builds Respect

What relationship can’t use more mutual respect? Not many, right?

Working out together builds respect because the two of you are pushing each other to your limits, encouraging one another to reach for more, and who can’t respect anyone for pushing outside of their comfort zone? These are strong moments in your relationship and will ensure things only get better moving forward.

Better Overall Health

Every person can use better health. Working out is great for better overall health. This will allow you and your mate to feel better, hopefully live longer and thus have a better life together. No one wants a mate that just wants to sit on the sofa together all day and night because they don’t have the energy to do more. Working out provides the energy, zest and health of a great life together.

Quality Time

Couples are always looking for better ways to spend quality time together or date. The gym and working out are wonderful ways to do just that. You are together talking, chatting about the current events, the work out, things on your mind. It is great and a wonderful way to spend time together. Give it a shot!

Improved Sex Life

You knew this was going to be on the list, didn’t you? You should because it is true. There is something about working out together that gets the blood boiling, the sweat is flying, the conversation is flowing, and everything just escalates from there. The better shape you two are in, the more interesting and exciting things can get in that special place.

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