“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
– Confucius, “Sayings Of Confucius”
I must admit, I’ve gotten fed up with the dating scene in the black community as of late. This perverted, over-sexualized society that we currently live in has completely warped the mindset of the members of my millennial generation. You can see the epitome of this only looking at some of the young women around me. Is self-respect lost?
Since when has sexual prowess been something more of a commodity than sheer class and intelligence? As a BMB (Business Minded Brother), a woman that has nothing to offer but a big butt and a mean sex game isn’t appealing at all. Maybe that’ll fly for a night or two but no brothers with any game or common sense is paying you any attention. I said it back in my article on Mimi’s sex tape, you have to carry yourself how you want to be treated.
In my years of being in the public school system and training my writing sense, I figured out how to analyze if a female is worth talking to or even giving energy too. Usually, you can tell by their behavior (obviously), the people they choose to hang around and their entertainment preferences. It’s been brought to my attention that R&B/Pop singer Rhianna is a woman that many young women around me look up to. Some admire her more than Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj!
Nevertheless, Rhianna isn’t the epitome of elegance and class in any way. The quotes “only God can judge me” and “to each its own” are the only ways to explain her crazy antics. Rhianna has been back in the media eye for the virtually invisible dress she wore to the CFDA awards ceremony. The pictures from the event got the social media world talking. Some were in defense of her using the “only God can judge me” style excuse. However, many stood in agreement with the opinion shared by Chili and T-Boz in a recent interview.
The remaining members of TLC said how she dressed was in poor taste. They also pointed out how they became the hottest female R&B group of their time keeping their clothes on. Rhianna wasn’t too pleased with their comments. She immediately changed her profile cover picture to an old topless picture they took to show support for the breast cancer awareness campaign.
It’s disheartening to see that twerking, fighting and sex are the only things that young black women can hang on to. I understand the time period that we live in, our current family circumstances, the strong media influence and the fact that women naturally crave attention. However, can it be noted that there’s a better way? Guys have told me that they value a female that doesn’t have to show her behind to get their attention. I’ve said it plenty of times and I’ll say it again!
Now, I’m not a fool in any way. I don’t want to see women walking around like they’re going to a wedding or something all the time! If anything, be a total package. I want a woman that’s beautiful with class, ambition, hustle and intellect with a sensual quality that makes me want to show her how much I love her all the time. That’s not too much to ask is it?
Message to all women: Don’t let your sexual abilities be your only claim to fame. Act the way you want to be treated. Guys worth your attention really want a whole woman. Also (to Rhianna), your point about being your own person is dually noted but let’s not forget that you’re talking to the women that made Unpretty and Waterfall. If anybody knows about becoming a success without walking around half naked in every video, it’s them. Maybe you should take heed!
Do you have any questions, comments or concerns? Was I right or wrong on this issue? I would love to hear from you! Contact me directly at:
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