Remember in the year 2000 when Destiny’s Child dropped Independent Women Part 1? Raise your hand if that was your anthem for a minute. Along with other anthems such as No Scrubs and He Wasn’t Man Enough, a lot of us were declaring our independence, which is great. There were also women out there who, maybe not as boldly, announced that being in a relationship made them feel whole. We all know the girlfriend who feels inadequate when she’s single, and invincible when she’s spoken for. So I wonder: do you need a man to make you feel complete?
Short Answer: No.
Women do not need a man to feel complete. If you want to get into the nitty gritty of it all, women can do what men can do for us. We don’t need a man to be the bread winner: we have our own jobs. We don’t need a man to take care of repairs around the house: we have our own tools. We don’t need a man to make us feel good about ourselves: like Katt Williams says, it’s called self-esteem. (Albeit he said it a little differently). So if we have all those bases covered, what is left?
Long Answer: Complete Is the Wrong Word.
So now that the independent woman rant is over, let me explain. Do we need men to make us feel complete? I think complete is the wrong word. Yes, I named reasons why we don’t need men, but let’s be honest. Sometimes, a man can make things a lot easier for us.
Do we need a sole bread winner? No, but in this day in age, dual income definitely helps us live the American Dream. Sure, I have my own tools, but if I’ve got other things to be concerned about, how nice would it be for my husband to get to the repairs for me? Self-esteem is essential, but a man who appreciates you taking care of your physical appearance can put you on cloud 9.
Men don’t complete us, or at least they shouldn’t. There are a lot of women who are codependent when it comes to their significant other. It’s very easy for us to lose ourselves in our men, and completely forget who we are as individuals. But a truly healthy relationship is birthed out of being complete despite being in a relationship. The self-help gurus always harp on this but it’s because it’s true. When you love yourself, you have more to give. When you’re complete, and your partner is complete, you both enhance each other. That’s the word I would use.
Now for the proudly single independent women out there, I hear you, and I feel you. I applaud you, and I’m cheering you on. Do what you need to do, do what you want to do. For those who are not so happy about being single, relax. The last thing you want to do is be in a relationship solely for the sake of saying you’re in one. If you feel you need a man to complete you, that should indicate you have some more self-love to work on. That missing piece is you.